An unhealthy relationship is a toxic relationship in which physical, sexual, psychological or emotional violence take place.
This topic is really important to me probably because I have been in one before (long term) but mostly because there are so many people that have no idea they are in an unhealthy relationship or they know this but just can’t let go (funny but sad).
Listen, it’s not when your partner lay hands on you that it becomes toxic but that is a major dealbreaker. There are so many signs of an unhealthy relationship and sometimes we just know it deep down that it’s not working but we keep trying to make it work.. Its time to stop trying and just let it go!
Some signs to look out for:
- Emotional blackmail:
This is when your partner tries to make you feel bad and guilty for every single thing.. all the damn time! No matter what you do, good or bad they just find a way to put you down and make you feel like shit… And when you try to leave, they pull up the sympathy card and nag all day about how much they love you and how they thought you will be with them forever and how much you are breaking their heart. At that point you start to feel bad and later find yourself apologizing for trying to leave their ugly ass and all the bullshit they do. And they will do this constantly to make you feel like the bad person but you are not, they are just terrible manipulators
- Control freak:
This is when they start to control everything you do, your usual ladies night out will get cancelled because boo thinks you will attract some hot dude in town or prossibly cheat on him/her, they just wanna be everywhere (sucking life outta you) even to the point of trying to control your finances sometimes.
- Having no regard for your dreams and future aspirations:
They just don’t care..
- Trying to change you into who they want you to be:
They slowly start to turn you into a different person, without you even realising this.. You start to dress the way your partner wants,talk the way they want, act the way they want.. Infact do everything the way they want. You start to lose yourself and your personality trying to please him/her.
- The relationship is one-sided:
In the sense that, a relationship should be a give and take situation but in this case your partner is just receiving but you are not getting anything back in return.. More like the individual is using you to get what he/she wants but never reciprocate your good gestures. But you won’t realize this because you are madly in love and too love-blinded to notice how selfish and self-consumed your partner really is.
- He/she doesn’t take you serious and your opinions does not matter to them on any issue:
They low-key thinks whatever you say is bullshit and your advice,ideas and other useful things you bring to the table is nonsense except money and probably sex (no joke)
- You start to lose touch with all your friends:
You start to get distant from all your good friends because you are busy trying to be the perfect girl/boyfriend.. You turn down invitations to hang out and other good stuffs, its just “my lover and I” for you.. nothing else matters (like temporary insanity.. it’s crazy)
- You fight all the time:
This pretty much explains itself, fighting all the time over unnecessary, trivial and stupid things such as “Why were you sleeping when my call came in? or why did you leave your toothbrush on the washing machine?” etc. Just extremely dumb shits!!… And when these disagreements happen you go weeks without speaking to each other and at the end of the day you have to invite a third party to settle your differences.(it’s just insane)
- No Trust and Respect:
They claim they love you but they never give you the respect you deserve as a person and as a lover, they don’t trust you. They just take you for granted and take your love for granted and take your fragile heart for granted. (such people, relationship or not are terrible)
- Physical abuse and violence:
Ok, I don’t care if this person is as handsome as angel Gabriel, once he lay hands on you.. please leave his stupid ass!
I could keep going on and on with the list but I think with these few points, you already know where i’m coming from and where I am going with this post.
Ladies and gentlemen, no matter how you love this person or how fantastic the sex is or anything in general that is still keeping the bond together.. You need to gather courage, break that bond and move on, you might be scared to leave him/her because you might be thinking he/she is a”rare gem”and you won’t find someone as “perfect” as this person again..
You don’t need to be scared because you will meet a person that will show you the true meaning of love and affection, a person that will treat you with care and the respect you properly deserve as an individual.
You are a rare gem, beautifully and wonderfully created by the Almighty, why should you let some idiot treat you like you are worthless? You deserve better, you deserve the best of everything only the best because you are worth more than diamonds.. You have a good heart and you deserve someone that sees the best in you and brings out the best in you. Please let go…. Shower yourself with that precious love you’ve been giving out to the wrong person,be a better person and forget about the past!
An unhealthy abusive relationship leads to an unhappy,loveless unhealthy marriage!